Creating the guest list is one of the most difficult tasks you´ll need to tend to while planning your wedding You cannot invite everyone, and it is difficult to exclude coworkers, college roommates and old high school friends, especially when they´re asking about your wedding date. Parents of the bride and groom can be particularly difficult. The mother of the bride may insist her coworkers be invited. The mother of the groom may decide to invite her extended relatives to the wedding – after the invitations have already been sent out. Ask any bride and groom what it was like to write their guest list and you´ll inevitably hear a number of horror stories about family feuds, hurt feelings and unhappy guests. However, writing your guest list is possible if you lay out ground rules before you ever pick up your address book. 

Decide on a number  Decide how many guests you want at your wedding. Consider the capacities of the ceremony location and reception venue, as well as your budget. As the guest list increases so do your costs, so keeping the number down is essential if you need to stick to a budget. 

Invite more  If you´re hoping to have a wedding with 100 guests, invite more assuming some people will be unable to attend. Sending save-the-date cards should give you an idea of who can attend as some people (especially out-of-towners) will notify you ahead of time even though they do not have to let you know before invitations are sent out. 

Be fair  The bride and groom should make a list of non-family members that they want to invite to the wedding. Both the bride and groom’s families should make lists of family members and friends they want to attend. Split the number of guests equally and make sure the lists are prioritized by those who you must invite to those who you´d like to attend. 

Categorize your list  Categorize the guest list to avoid hurting anyone´s feelings. If you know you cannot invite your entire extended family, stick to the categories you’ve created when deciding who should receive invitations. If you want to invite your closest family members, agree only to send invitations to your first cousins rather than second and third. 

Plus ones and children  Allowing your guests to bring dates and children is going to significantly increase the cost of your wedding. While allowing your guests to bring dates is generous, it is not required, you should not feel guilty if your budget won´t allow for it. However, etiquette states that you must invite your guests’ spouses, live-in partners, and fiancés. Couples often struggle with the decision to invite children to their wedding because guests may take it personally. However, the last thing you want on your wedding day is a group of cranky children crying at the reception. Simply note that your wedding is adults-only and most guests will get the hint. You will inevitably deal with those that are upset or confused by your decision, but it is your wedding and if you let guests know ahead of time that the reception is only for adults, you shouldn´t feel guilty. 

Destination Wedding guest list  Destination Weddings are typically intimate affairs for the couple and their closest friends and immediate family. Many guests will be unable to attend due to travel costs and needed time off. However, invite those you genuinely want with you on your wedding day and send invitations as early as possible. Don´t worry about excluding friends or family members – most people would expect destination weddings to be more intimate gatherings. Many couples have smaller destination weddings and host parties after they get home for their friends and family who were not invited, or could not attend. 

By: Lauren Finnegan