After you‘ve said yes and gotten used to that sparkly engagement ring on your finger, you’re probably ready to decide on the members of your bridal party. These people are likely extremely important in your life and you probably can’t wait to start talking about the wedding with them. However, there are many misconceptions about a bridesmaid’ duties, which you should consider before you assign tasks. 

Don’t expect 
Many brides believe their bridesmaids are there to help them plan the wedding, throw pre-wedding parties and assist them with any last minute details. However, this is not the case.  

Bridesmaids are only required to buy the dress, wear it on the day of the wedding and show up. They should also attend the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner. It is also nice if they throw and/or attend pre-wedding parties but this is not a requirement and should not be expected. However, some bridesmaids may want to help you construct centerpieces and menu cards in the weeks leading up to the wedding. If they offer, feel free to accept, but the less you expect, the happier you’ll be. 

Bridal Showers 
Bridal showers are also gifts given by family members, friends or members of the bridal party. They are entirely optional and should not be expected by the bride. Some brides may be offered multiple showers while others won’t even have one. If you are offered a shower, you are fully within your rights to decline no matter what your reasons might be. However, bridal showers should not be thrown by the bride herself as it is a party held in her honor. 

Bachelorette Parties 
Bachelorette parties are typically thrown by the bridesmaids and Maid or Matron of Honor. However, sometimes these parties are thrown by other friends. Planning and paying for a bachelorette party is not considered part of a bridesmaid or maid/matron of honor’s duties. The bachelorette party is considered a gift to the bride and it is optional. 

Attire 
Bridesmaids’ dresses come in a range of styles –the good, the bad and the ugly. If you’ve ever seen the movie “27 dresses” with Katherine Heigl, you know that not all the bridesmaids’ dresses are wearable or flattering. However, there are plenty of fashionable options your bridesmaids will love. Ask for their input before you start looking for dresses. Settle on a budget everyone is comfortable with and find a style that is flattering for all of the bridesmaids. Some brides opt to choose a color and let their bridesmaids find styles that flatter their figures. A number of stores, including David’s Bridal, have many styles of dresses in the same color, so you won’t need to worry about the dresses matching. 

Be gracious 
Bridesmaids are there to stand beside you on one of the most important days of your life. They might be some of your closets friends or relatives and they are people you want to share the special time with. Bridesmaids are not there to help you plan your wedding, but some will want to, so be kind and gracious when they offer. 

Remember, bridesmaids pay for their dresses and give up time to be at wedding events, so it’s always nice to thank them with thoughtful gifts. Shop for each girl as though it’s her birthday and find her something she’ll love. Avoid anything with your wedding date and don’t purchase jewelry or accessories you want them to wear on your wedding day. In addition to giving each bridesmaid a thoughtful gift, make sure to include a note or card which expresses your gratitude. 

Bridal luncheon 
A great way to say thank you to your bridesmaids is a bridal luncheon, brunch, tea party of spa day. This pre-wedding event is typically held a few days before the wedding or even on the day of, depending on how your schedule works. While the bridal luncheon is not required, it’s a nice way to say thank you to your bridesmaids and the perfect time to hand out their gifts. The event can be as formal as you want it to be –some brides prefer to host fancy afternoon tea parties, while others prefer to host a relaxing day at the spa. No matter what your preference is, make sure you pay for the event if you decide to host one –the bridesmaids are your guests of honor. 

By: Lauren Finnegan